R. Kelly : Like looking in a mirror

by Bruno

October 3, 2008

Yesterday I was walking down the street when it hit me like a ton of bricks.  As euphoria washed over me like urine rain, it revealed one simple truth : R. Kelly gets me.  Never before had I been able to relate to someone so easily.  Oftentimes, listening to his lyrics are like reading a page from my diary.  It’s like he’s singing what I’m thinking. A perfect example :

Mmmm I wonder how my friends would treat me now
If I wasn’t iced up, with a Bentley and a house

I feel the exact same way! Honest to god, there has been many a night where I’ve sat at home with a bottle of Hennessy and wrestled with the very same conundrum. How would they treat me if I wasn’t extremely wealthy?  I mean, what if I wasn’t black, handsome, or couldn’t sing? What if I hadn’t had a huge hit on the Space Jam soundtrack? Dammit Kells, you know me too well!

Much like R., I too was recently blamed for something I didn’t do. And, much like R., I too was able to escape from the whole debacle unscathed and with my career intact - while at the same time dispelling any further rumours! In case you didn’t know, R. Kelly gives really good interviews. Here’s a short clip for your enjoyment. After seeing this, there’s no doubt of his innocence.  You have to applaud him for answering a question thoroughly, instead of a simple ‘yes or no’.  God knows he’s smarter than that! On that very same coin, sometimes I wonder why he’s an R&B superstar and not a world-class lawyer. He displays understanding of some of the more difficult concepts that make most of the population dizzy. I honestly did not know what the term ‘innocent’ meant until he explained it to me. But again, I can’t be accused of not knowing until it’s proven that I didn’t know in not knowing, right? Yeah.

I have some nineteen year-old friends,

Bruno.

With Love & Rum. Alcoholics: Anonymously.