Canada Day, Fuckin’ Eh!

Posted on June 27, 2008

It’s Canada Day Weekend, and starting today Canadians can be found puking and passing out all over the place. There’s also the good chance of many Canadian flags being tattooed on the upper arms of the faux hawk types across the nation! What better way to show your love for your country than by having a red leaf (or hockey team logo) permanently inked into your skin? Fuck yes.

Now then, back in the real world: I will leave you with a few songs here to tap your keg of Molson Canadian to. Or, with any luck — not Molson Canadian at all.

Saturday Night (Live), by Bay City Rollers
Everybody Wants To Rule The World, by Tears For Fears

Oh Canada,
Edward H.

P.S.

Katy Perry kissed a girl, liked it

Posted on June 26, 2008

Katy Perry (the new and improved Avril Lavigne: Now with lipstick and tits!), has a song detaling her escapade into the world of sucking face with cherry chapstick, and can be quoted as saying,

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

Since Katy’s boyfriend was unavailable for comment, I feel as a man of honour that I can speak on his behalf. Unless he was off kissing boys (and liking it), I can tell you right now, sweets: he don’t mind it — but for posterity, and possibly a new angle for your next hit single: invite that guy along for the experiment. Carry the two… plus… one. What’s that? Oh just doing some math and science — something you wouldn’t understand.

MP3: I Kissed A Girl, by Katy Perry. Or View the video below:

Dan Mangan could be depressed, has MySpace account

Posted on June 23, 2008

Dan Mangan, a Vancouver local is playing on Wednesday at The Media Club if he doesn’t let a city bus or a ten tonne truck kill him first (as broached in his Smith’s cover of There Is A Light). In the unlikely event of his demise, I’ll go see his show and hope that my $10 will be enough to keep him on track, moving forward!

So Much For Everyone and Journal of a Narcoleptic, by Dan Mangan

If you’re thinking about, you know, it… don’t you dare go without me, Dan!

This place is dead anyway,
Edward H.

It’s An Island

Posted on June 8, 2008

So here I am, sitting on a westbound ferryboat crossing the bay to another island just across the way. In about ten minutes I’ll have finished this bottle of rum I’ve been working on during the ride across. When this thing hits berth, I’ll be meeting up with a dear friend to prepare and cook delicious fixings of the barbecue variety, overlooking the northeast Pacific and discuss a healthy itinerary littered (liquored?) with even more rum, loud music, potentially upset neighbouring households, and with any luck pass out on a bar stool — as so often happens.

It’s Saturday afternoon, almost evening, and at this point — what’s the difference anyway? Weekend? Weekday? Evening, morning, midday? I should select a song to place here that will make your shoes go shoo-shoo-shoo, your hands to go yes-yes-yes, and your throat to go chug-chug-chug. All resulting in a likely pound-pound-pound in your head tomorrow morning, but not before a thump-thump-thump on your headboard tonight.

Gimme More & Bring ‘Em Out (Remix) by, T.I. and Britney.

Good luck out there, tiger!
Edward H.

Songs To Get Drunk With; The Weekends Edition

Posted on November 30, 2007

It took forever, but my dear friend Friday is here. It’s been a long week of sitting around masturbating to pregnant women while pretending to be busy at work. Sure I don’t actually have a job, and yeah maybe what I consider work is sitting at home in sweatpants all day with a bottle of rum in my lap mouthing off to that 70 year old hag next door because she doesn’t like how loud I loop my 30 second porno sample clips. I told her I would pay for a subscription so the looping sounds wouldn’t be so frequent if only I could get a job. And how was I to know she knew what was playing anyhow? I always thought seniors were like children — they don’t understand what you’re doing anyway, so what’s the point in holding back when they’re around. As promised yesterday, here’s a weekend list of tunes that you’ve probably already heard and are sick of by now, but I’m sick of trying to find new music for you scenesters, so have a good weekend, try not to look down on too many people in jeans that aren’t as tight as yours, and remember to do lots of coke. I know I’m going to.

Songs To Get Drunk With (alternately titled: Songs To Kill People To)

Yelle - Amour Du Sol

Notorious BIG & Frank Sinatra - Come On - My Way Of Life

Chris Brown Ft. T-Pain - Drug Drug Kiss Kiss (Hood Internet Remix)

Rhianna - Don’t Stop The Music

VHS or BETA - Burn It All Down

Shout Out Louds - The Comeback (Ratatat Remix)

Bjork - Who Is It (Vitalic Remix)

Mobb Deep & Bobb Marely - Got It Twisted (Bobb Deep)

Calvin Harris - I Get All The Girls

I’ll see you tomorrow post drug-binge depression!
Edward H.

Songs To Get Drunk With; The Weeknights Edition

Posted on November 29, 2007

This site has been lacking in the updates lately. Can’t really give you a reliable excuse other than I’ve been undoubtably and regrettably sober lately. Waking up without a hangover is an insult to my very existence — opening my eyes in the morning knowing that this is as good as I’m going to feel all day. At least with a hangover I have something to look forward to. Recovery from the night before, and finishing off the bottle on my night stand. Regardless! If you’re the sort that likes to pour booze down your throat alone on a weeknight, may I recommend the following selection, Songs To Get Drunk With; The Weeknights Edition (alternately titled: Songs To Kill Yourself To).

Oh Susanna - Tangled & Wild

Dustin Kensrue - Please Come Home

Lewis & Clarke - Bare Bones & Branches

The Wooden Sky - North Dakota (CBC Sessions)

Great Lake Swimmers - Backstage With Modern Dancers

Bon Iver - Re: Stacks

Red House Painters - Have You Forgotten

Matt Pond PA - Until The East Cost Ends

Tomorrow is Friday. I’m falling over tomorrow night — hopefully before then, I’m going to put up Songs To Get Drunk With; The Weekends Edition (alternately titled: Songs To Kill People To)

One more sleep,
Edward H.

Coffee Snowboarding & The 60’s

Posted on November 24, 2007

I was enjoying a café con leche today at the JJ Bean on Main & 14th. If you know Vancouver, then you know how trendy the Main street area is; this particular coffeehouse is a prime scenester hangout. Why? Well they do serve a delicious cup of coffee, but they also play great music.

I caught myself listening to a rather wonderful song. I recognized it, but couldn’t pin point who it was. So naturally when I arrived home this evening I did my research and tracked it down. Turns out it had been on my computer all along, but had hidden itself in my growing song library.

I turned it up loud and rocked out.

Upon further investigation I realized that not only was the song produced in the late 60’s (and should have been included in the recent 60’s mixtape), but my good friend Joe Sexton used the track for his part in a recent snowboard film. A rather banger video section I might add; he does good grinds.

Child Support Is downloadable for $2.99 from the Defective Films website.

And here is the song you are anticipating so much (or not);

The Grass Roots - I’d Wait A Million Years

Silver Bikini, Silver Website

Posted on November 2, 2007

Now this is more than likely temporary — especially since I loved that god damned fur background so much; But unless you’re checking this from your Blackberry (because obviously the people that often visit this site are Blackberry website checking business professionals) you’ve probably noticed that this place is now all silvered up. I felt we needed to switch up from that last babe motif. Sure she was gorgeous, sure she was wearing fur, and sure none of us will ever sleep with her, but that doesn’t mean we can’t shop around. So there was this girl in my pseudo-porn photo folder (the real porn is on another premium site I run), and I just had to throw it up for your viewing pleasure. I probably don’t need to write much more than that. Lucas wrote a post below, and added a whole bunch of good music to keep you people occupied. Later today I’ll be adding some silver-bikini-removing songs for Friday Music Time Surprise.

Jessica Alba,
Edward H.

P.S. Keeping with aesthetics, I thought I’d throw up an image from that shit-bag of a movie, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

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With Love & Rum. Alcoholics: Anonymously.