SuperSideBar is more expensive than pouring bottle directly into throat: won’t offend at dinner parties

Posted on June 25, 2008

So the clever folks over at Super Sidebar have found a way to let you dispense up to five different drinks without having to bother with that pesky task of actually picking up a bottle. How proletariatly… proletariat of you to have been physically pouring your own drink all this time. Finally, in 2008 for about $500 clams you can appropriately measure your mixed drinks. Whether there’s a setting for “empty whole bottle into this other bottle I’m going to carry around” or not, I can’t be sure… but I do know it pours the booze in 5 separate little flexible tubes — so the premium rum you pour yourself, and the Bacardi you feed to your dogs guests will never mix.

Technology strikes again!
Edward H.

Kelly Brook is a Babe, Dates Bald Man

Posted on May 21, 2008

Although her sweet mammaries and general existence are the main reason this site exists, I regret to say, this post is about men! Men from the band The Coast, and this is what Eye Weekly said…

…its pounding piano turning the sublime through the stopping and starting of guitars flaming out in peaceful whirls. Though “Song For Gypsy Rose Lee” features the Bono-esque falsetto of lead singer Ben Spurr, rest assured, it’s surprisingly artful.

Whatever the hell that means. I’ll break it down for you: Do you like guitars? Do you like raspy, kinda country, kinda rocking dudes, that are probably sleeping with more babes than you, but at the same time have highly addictive drug problems which serve as a constant precurser to heavy emotional problems and progressive thoughts of suicide? If so, grab the song below, cut up a few lines, and write a review like Eye Weekly did.

Floodlights, by The Coast

Well kids, it’s Wednesday, and I have a therapy appointment with Dr. Bottle,

Edward H.

Flight Of The Conchords??

Posted on October 7, 2007

I’m not completely sure if I should be posting this or not. This is mainly because I haven’t convinced myself that I actually like these guys.  I smoked a considerable amount last night and at the time they seemed funny. Although, they probably aren’t that funny. Today I managed to get a copy of ‘If Thats What You’re Into‘, and I did sneak a laugh (surprisingly sober this time).

Flight Of The Conchords are New Zealand’s fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo. And just to clarify, that is a self proclaimed title.They have a television show on HBO. You might want to check it out (if thats what your into).

Not The Way I See It

Posted on October 4, 2007

I like my coffee how I like my women. Hot, foreign, and with nothing important to say. Starbucks is intent on ruining this for me, and they’ve proved as much with their The Way I See It series printed on every cup. How dare you defile my grumpy morning caffeination with your horrible tokens of motivation. They’re often gooey motivational, new age, and more importantly: not written by me. I plan to release my own collection of coffee cups entitled What You Really Need. Some ideas I’ve kicked around are prices of hookers based on which corner they work, instructions to look under the cup where I’ve hidden a flap of coke, and ex-girlfriend’s phone numbers. Oh sure I’m just copying my diary, but it’s hard to be clever when you’re high on coke running out the door to pick up some hookers and call your ex crying about what’s wrong with your life.

But it’s only Thursday,
Edward H.

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With Love & Rum. Alcoholics: Anonymously.